So last night I was watching a film with my boyfriend, when a scene in the movie triggered some flashbacks for me. Unfortunately I broke down and it ruined the whole evening, and when I woke this morning I just didn't want to face the day. But my son needed me to get him breakfast, so I did just that, then got him dressed and took him to school. I did just throw on a pair of joggers and a sweater, but at least I got him there. All I wanted to do after was go back home to bed and sleep my day away, but I've had to teach myself how to get myself out of these states. So instead, I went home, made a strong coffee and began dolling myself up, just for me. Even if I would just be sat at home all day, I'd feel a bit happier in myself. I decided it probably wouldn't be best to sit in the flat all day, I'd only drive myself crazy, so I went and surprised my boyfriend with a visit at his work. As it turned out he had been feeling pretty crap all day so I lifted his mood. I've spent the rest of the afternoon sat in front of the mirror, admiring my new FCUK sunglasses and singing along to my favourite tunes, whilst looking for new things I want for my beauty room.
To be honest I have to deal with this kind of thing on a regular basis, and it doesn't get easier. It's scary not knowing what you'll be feeling or who you will be every morning when you wake up. But I have so much support from friends and family.
Anyway I decided to take a photo of this moment, and when I look back on it, I'll remember how I felt this morning when I woke, and how I managed to change my state of mind.
Cami xox
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